We all care about what people think about us. Don’t beat yourself up for caring about the opinions of others as we are actually programmed to do it because as Dr. Melissa Sedmak says ‟we need to belong to a group’’. As species, we have an innate need to belong to survive Therefore, fearing too much about what other people think, can hold us back from what we truly want and desire.
Caring about other peoples' opinions helps when it comes to working as a group, but it turns out into a problem when we begin to lose the path to our integrity by putting others before us and have a tendency to people-please.
Here are some typical signs of ‘people pleaser’ behavior:
Apologizes too much
Feels guilty when taking care of her/himself
Puts other people’s needs before her/his own
Finds it hard to say No
Minimizes her/his own feelings and needs
Compromises her/his own values if it means people will like her/him.
This behavior is often accompanied by internal negative self-talk like for example:
What will they think?
What if I say no?
Will they get mad?
What if they think I’m stupid?…
Do not limit yourself by your concern about being judged!
The following strategies will help you to have stronger self-esteem and will help you stick to your opinions and decisions:
Remember you can not please everyone all the time.
Take your time. When someone asks for a favor, take time to think about it and check your schedule.
Keep in mind that you are NOT responsible for other people’s emotions.
Stay true to your values.
Learn to say ‘No’ and set better boundaries.
Always remember that your ideas, thoughts, and emotions matter.
Bring more self-compassion and kindness into your everyday life.