Updated: Mar 5, 2021
We’ve all felt anger in our lives. It’s a valid and necessary emotion for understanding what’s going on inside of us. Anger is our response to what we perceive as an unfair treatment or some kind of injustice. It’s often a mask or cover for deeper emotions.
The Anger Iceberg is a useful emotional intelligence tool that helps us to understand what’s going on beneath the surface. It helps to dig deeper into where the anger comes from. Recognizing when anger is rooted by frustration, shame, disappointment, or a combination of other different emotions can allow us to process those emotions and work through them in a healthy way.
Here are 4 practical steps on working through anger by using the anger iceberg:
Acknowledge and understand what triggered you.
Reflect on different possible triggers that pushed your angry button. It can be things, people, or situations.
Identify what’s going on underneath the tip of the anger iceberg.
Once you’ve identified the triggers, you can get to the root of the deeper emotion(s). Write them down into the lower part of the anger iceberg.
Allow yourself to feel.
Don’t suppress or ignore your anger. Express it in a healthy way and let it go.
Take several deep breaths, go for a short walk, do physical activity.
Anger is a natural emotion and essential emotion and when we learn how to deal with it, it benefits not only us, but everyone in our lives, helping us maintain healthy relationships that are open, conscious, and honest.
You can download the Anger Iceberg PDF HERE.
Did you find the exercise helpful? Anger iceberg is one of the 20 emotional intelligence exercises included in the Emotional Mastery in Action e-Book.